My reiki story is perhaps an unlikely one. I would love to say that I heard about reiki, decided it sounded amazing and opened my heart and mind to it right away. That’s not the case at all.

I had heard of reiki a couple of times through my life but never really been interested in it enough to even ask what it was. I was in the midst of a science degree, I loved being analytical about things. I was learning the importance of being an evidence based practitioner and learning to love the rigours of scientific research. I also happened to be in the midst of what Brene Brown would refer to as a breakdown/spiritual awakening.

I had dug myself into a fairly impressive hole. I was so far from the person I had thought I was, even I couldn’t recognise myself. I was shut down emotionally. I was suicidal. I wasn’t eating. I was at my own personal rock bottom… and because I have the blessing and curse of being quite stubborn (and understatement), when I find myself in a hole I have the tendency to double down. So I dug myself deeper for a number of years before I realised that maybe I needed to put the shovel down and look for a rope instead. I’d love to say that was an ah-ha moment. It wasn’t, it looked more like me collapsed on the ground, still desperately trying to dig while being smacked in the face with the rope that could pull me out.

My psychologist (almost against my will I had been seeing one for some time by this point, and while it made me so anxious I would have to vomit before every appointment, I was too stubborn to quit. Again, blessing and a curse!) suggested that I find something to do just for myself. Just because I wanted to. Just to have something to look forward to.

So I looked for a horse massage course. Many pages of google scrolling later and I found an equine reiki course. I had no idea what reiki was, but it had come up in a search for massage, so I figured it must be something like that. It was in the hunter valley, it was on a weekend I actually had free… and it had already closed. Still, it was all I had, so I e-mailed Sonja, the woman who organised it, and asked if I could have a spot if one came up, or could she at least tell me when there was another one scheduled. She came back to me saying she had planned to cancel it due to not having enough people, but with myself and another woman e-mailing her that day she would keep it open.

The price was exactly what I had in my bank account, down to the cent. (Others -or myself now- may have seen that as serendipitous, I just thought it was lucky I could afford it).

I received my manual, where it talked about reiki being the universal energy of unconditional love… about how it was an intelligent energy that knew where to go. About how it could heal on any level - physical, emotional, mental or spiritual. About how as part of becoming a reiki healer you were “attuned” to reiki, and thus would have access for the rest of your life… and I was pretty sure I was out! Every part of my scientific mind was screaming about what a load of crap this was.

Still, I had paid… and at worst it was a weekend in the hunter valley, away from my current hellish life, with no reception and some slightly delusional people. How bad could it be?

I met Sonja, and the other participant (more had dropped out since I signed up so there was only two of us) and she seemed nice enough. We sat down and did a meditation, which wasn’t too bad. Then we got into the attunements and the teaching portion of the weekend. I’ll admit, if it hadn’t been for the horses, I still may not have been sold. Yes, when I was being channeled to, Sonja did say she had an insight that did seem spookily relevant… but that could happen to anyone, right? Yes it did feel quite relaxing to be channeled to. Yes my hands did tingle when we spoke about reiki and more so when I channeled it… but none of this was compelling evidence in my mind.

The compelling evidence came from Sonja’s horse, Sunny. I was meant to be channeling to him as he stood near the other end of a large paddock (Sunny doesn’t like being close to people in general). He was eating grass and seemed completely disinterested in what I was doing. Sonja asked what I was getting from him and I said it could be my chiropractor brain talking, but I felt like he could use a belly lift. She suggested I send him that remotely. I thought she was crazy. Horses don’t do belly lifts on their own - you have to tickle their sternum to get them to do it. Still, I figured I had better try it. Not kidding, this horse stopped eating, looked at me and did a belly lift. As if to prove a point, he repeated the gesture.

My rational mind fell on the floor.

After that, I was far more open minded about the reiki. I was also shocked at how much just being there, with someone like Sonja, had gotten under my skin. I cried the whole way home. I was someone who didn’t let myself cry usually. It took a hell of a lot for me to give in to tears, and when I did it was usually short lived. I cried for the better part of 3 hours in the car.

Since then, I’ve gone to another Level II training, in 2018 I completed my master level training so that I could now teach reiki - although if I’m honest I didn’t see myself teaching reiki, I just wanted an excuse to spend 5.5 days in the reiki energy with horses and people like Sonja, and in 2019 attended the inaugural Equine Reiki retreat.

So, why am I so invested in it? Because quite simply it has changed my life. I can relate to horses and people in a much more heart centred way. I’d say I actually found my heart through reiki. I found my intuition. I found unconditional love - not the romantic type, the energy-the-universe-is-created-from type. I’ve met the most beautiful people who light me up. I’ve found more depth in my work and in my life. I learned how to show up for people, and for myself. I found faith - something I would have said I never had before. I found my higher self. I found my way out of the hole I had dug myself into, but I didn’t just return to my previous state - reiki has led me to something so much better. More than that, I see what it does for those around me - when they learn to channel reiki, when they receive reiki, and when (whether they know it or not) I show up in reiki.

I have seen and experienced miraculous shifts on the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels as a result of reiki. Horses, humans, dogs and situations that have all been fundamentally changed. So while my inner sceptic may still argue that it’s not scientifically validated, even she knows that’s only because there hasn’t been a way invented to measure it. Part of me knows that one of the three pillars of evidence based practice is personal and professional experience - and in this I have a lot of evidence for reiki.

The rest of me doesn’t care. Maybe I sound like a crazy person, but I’m the happiest, most open, most loving, and most joyful I have ever been… and I owe that for the most part to the role reiki has played in my life.

It didn’t all happen right away, it has been shifts over time, and this is continuing every single day… but reiki is the undercurrent of those shifts.

That’s why I’m so passionate about teaching this amazing modality. That’s why I want to share it with as many people as possible. Because my story is just story, about one person, and I’ve seen this play out for so many people. I really do believe that the world would be a better place - for everyone, humans, horses and every other being - if more people were connected to that unconditionally loving part of themselves.